對不起

除了你，我這一身再也不會愛別人了。
除了你，再也沒有人能讓我快樂，開心了。
好想好想你。現在只想抱著你，對你說聲對不起。

心碎了

正當我已為我找到真愛，它卻傷害了我。很久已前，我的心是死的。他進了我的世界，進了我的心。我們甜密了，也相愛了，為和如經他的心卻是冷的。有很多話，我很希望他沒對我說。一句句的話就好樣有如一把尖尖的刀刺入我的心。要找到真愛，真的那麼難嗎？如果這次再失敗，我的心真的碎了。沒救了。好多次，我很想死。可是死了又能這樣。沒有人會可憐你，同情你。女人在這世上，往往都是很感情用事。那是因為每一份愛都是努力過的愛，真誠的愛。說我們滿不講理，我們罷道，我們小氣。你已為這是我們想要的嗎？就是太在意你，太喜歡你，我們才會這樣自私的愛這你。你常常說你在努力，我卻不明理。不真惜。那是多悲傷的事啊。
只想對你說聲我真的很愛你，可是我現在明白真愛是不夠的。。。。

Death Look featuring My ducky

My own creation of "Death Look" cover, main character = Mr Chng (My Bf)

Disappointed with "Light" in Death Note movie

"Death Note" movie was such a disappointment, not that the plot was bad but more of the wrong actor selected for the character - Light Yagami. In the "Death Note" comic by Takeshi Obata and Tsugumi Ohba, Light was a guy with look that kills. The charisma in him was unstoppable, even when he was featured as the evil and cunning one in the book, i fell in love with him instantly. The love was more of an admiration for his courage, his sky high IQ level and of course, his "almost perfect" looks. To me, Light had a story of his own. Unfortunately, for what ever reason Tatsuya Fujiwara was chosen for this film was a BIG BIG mistake. Well, everyone knows that Tatsuya was famous for his good acting in "Battle Royale" but that doesn't mean he is suitable for such a big role (Light) now. The character "Light" practically died in his hands. No emotions, no body language, no x-factor and definitely no LOOKS. It was a tragedy, a perfect plot mudered by it's own actor.

Passion or Obligation?

Drawing used to be my favourite past time. NOW? Eversince i got a position in Lasalle-sia, i have been questioning myself. Is drawing and painting still my passion or is it more of an obligation now? Regardless whether you have inspiration or not, you still have to draw, you still have to paint. I love to draw "death note" animation. That was in the past. As you can from the above picture, it is incomplete. The drawing was done way before the "death note" movie came out. I did not complete it, why? I could no longer draw during my free time because there isn't any more free time now. Even if there is, i would rather sleep that few more hours then to complete this poor drawing of mine. Haha. Pathetic isn't it. I got no choice. SIngapore is a place where paper qualification comes first, regardless whether you have talent or passion. It means shit if you don't have at least a degree. So what if u can draw or paint, it all boils down to the miserable piece of cert you need to produce when going for a job interview. Therefore, here am i, giving up my freedom and time for 4 years, in return for a damn degree cert.
What do you think? Passion or obligation?

True love?

I was once a very lonely girl. True love to me is nothing but fear. Fear of being hurted, fear of being treated like a fool and fear of being lied to. I said this before, "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions." ~Woody Allen. Is it true? ? Before a girl gets laid, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something she said; after that, he'll fall asleep even before she start saying it. (This would be a better situation, worst case scenerio - her guy made her pregnant, throw her a few hundreds bucks if he still has some consience and leave her for another bitch.)For that i'll rather be a lonely soul. To me in the past, guys were like "animals" that could talk and they fantasize girls with big boobs, needle pin legs, perky butt n bee-like waist. This is so called the "MUST HAVE" criteria.. what a shallow world i'm living in... In the eyes of all male species.. gals should hav the look of kate moss, figure like fiona xie (thought ericia's body's hot too - critics r her bods' look out of proportion) n legs like cameron diaz. Haha. No offence guys.

Hmm.. one year ago, on the 9th Jan 2006, i met my "miracle". The whole thing still seems like it was a dream, too good to be true for me. This "miracle" never gives up on me no matter what. Till this day, we still have our quarrels and our disagreements but we are holding on strong. My "miracle" made me believe in love again. The faith in him keeps me going. He claims to be a "block" that holds back on showing affection. Guys out there, affection and attention are the key elements for us. We dont need fancy gifts, big houses nor big cars to make us smile. A simple message of " I Love/miss you" means so much more. What is true Love? "Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with truth. Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing. For we know partially and we prophesy partially, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things.
At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully as I am fully known. So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love......"corinthians 13:4-13..My guy is not a perfect bf.. but his imperfection makes me perfectly in love with him.
Lastly, all girls like flowers.